I'm a little lost without you...

i remember who i was

2009-10-22T19:24:26Z

I don't mean i'm proud of it necessarily, but do you remember yourself? Or did you delete it? Or did you make it a private secret? I remember the thing I really was, not just the thing recorded here and there for the past 9 years. I am not the forgotten thing that, with your help, i've been making myself into. So when I leave this region of the world I will leave defeated but not dead.

603

2005-08-28T22:47:17Z

sick and worried, but good nonetheless. wasn't totally sure if this was what I wanted, but it is most certainly mine, and it's good. this will, without a doubt, be my final correspondence. have a good life, some of you I'll see again, some of you I won't, it's fine, and that, as they say, was that.

in place of an obituary

2005-08-02T21:00:20Z

home stretch. been feeling sort of numb lately. consider this the end of correspondence. I mean it this time.

p.s.: Dear Summer,

2005-07-20T14:36:23Z

please end.

fuck em (2)

2005-07-20T14:24:46Z

hi guys. hope you're all having a wonderful fucking time. working today and tomorrow, then getting my wisdom teeth out.

where we were to begin with

2005-07-16T15:06:35Z

today I start work for the people who forced my parents into bankruptcy 10 or so years ago, the people who put us in the position we've been in for the past 10 or so years. Life is full of these little ironic statements, you know, and soft if you put your ear to the ground, close your eyes, clang and echo, pitter patter goes your little stupid heart, oh geeze oh geeze, and snap out of it to see the tire about to roll over your stupid little head.

summer

2005-07-14T21:17:12Z

count it.

tying up loose ends

2005-07-10T18:14:34Z

show tonight. I am very excited to see some people.

rains for days so you stay inside and lock your door

2005-07-06T20:42:17Z

what difference does it make?

as it applies to whatever:

2005-07-05T06:08:27Z

that which does not kill you

often leaves you handicapped.

everything (2):

2005-07-04T00:30:03Z

oh it's just like so unfair.

the only two people consistently stuck here

2005-06-30T16:58:31Z

I forget what it was like to be in school, and I miss something or a few things. Glad it's going well. See you next year or never again.

to everyone:

2005-06-10T15:19:48Z

I'm going to go take my last shit as a high school senior.

weak and tired and worried and sick

2005-05-25T00:00:58Z

I will no longer put my life on display, because I understand that what there is to show is meaningless and flat and worthless and
because I understand that it was never nearly as big as it thought it was.

"It's like The Last Fucking Supper!"

2005-05-22T17:30:09Z

Goodbye, English Muffin
Goodbye, Goodbye!

it seems the times have changed since "meet me in las vegas"

2005-05-22T14:25:53Z

it's almost over. I have one detention left to serve and six class days left to serve and in a couple of weeks it'll all be over. I feel so scattered and spread out. Goodbye paychecks. Hello free time. I don't want to time travel.

fit to burst

2005-05-12T23:24:28Z

reminisced, thought about whatever else, pipes won't stop leaking downstairs, left work early because it's slow and they don't need me, hugest headache, asked the wrong question, failed a quiz, called him Ed when I meant to say 'Al', knew I'd do it, family's eating dinner in the other room but I'm in here; I say a little less because, for the most part, it's all like that. I think I'm going to shave off my beard tonight.

I act so dumb when we're alone

2005-05-05T18:36:52Z

The new Tullycraft record is excellent. Some guy is armed and dangerous and running around my neighborhood. I was too tired to go to school today, work, wake up go to school tomorrow, work, go to sleep, wake up, go to work, go to sleep, etc. I have a lot to do. I feel like my head is full of bricks.

wake up wake up

2005-05-01T16:35:32Z

spit and say, "I'll never die!" louder!

this just in:

2005-04-25T17:45:45Z

tom stikeman is a negative nancy.

july, july!

2005-04-25T16:52:17Z

I'm working everyday this week at The English Muffin. It's not bad. I have to give most of my paycheck to my mom for my housing deposit for UNH. This sucks, and I don't know a single person who's had to worry about it. I don't know a single person who's had to pay for it. If you are one of these people let me know so I don't have to feel awful about spending all of my vacation to do it.

oh well. at least I have a job.

ALSO:
thank you, capt. asscheeks.

drama kids

2005-04-22T01:08:50Z

it is time that we all grew up and started pretending that high school never even happened.

also, being back at that stupid shithole for 50 dollars a week sucks so much. I guess it's something, but, john mccarthy, can you save me?

for the life of me, I cannot remember

2005-04-18T22:16:37Z

I've been really bummed out the past couple of months.
sometimes everything seems resolved to a point
and I feel better, but a couple hours of sitting around
alone always seems to bring it back. something needs
to change, I guess. everything's thawed, but I still feel
snowy and icy and windy and everything. I guess I could
take a walk. Yeah sure, I should probably just take a walk.
also, I have to watch a really long, boring movie tonight.

if you will suck my soul, I will lick your funky emotions

2005-04-16T23:07:09Z

so I was just thinking:
okay, it's springtime
it's time to start feeling good again
...so for the rest of the year,
if your name isn't Funkadelic,
you aren't on my stereo.

free your mind and your ass will follow.

why can't I calm down?

2005-04-16T17:58:37Z

one day karma will crush me.
could be today, could be tomorrow, could be ten years from now,
but one day whatever will come back around
because it's not about how you've been, it's about what you've done.