I'm a little lost without you...

i remember who i was

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 19:24:26 GMT

I don't mean i'm proud of it necessarily, but do you remember yourself? Or did you delete it? Or did you make it a private secret? I remember the thing I really was, not just the thing recorded here and there for the past 9 years. I am not the forgotten thing that, with your help, i've been making myself into. So when I leave this region of the world I will leave defeated but not dead.

603

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Sun, 28 Aug 2005 22:47:17 GMT

sick and worried, but good nonetheless. wasn't totally sure if this was what I wanted, but it is most certainly mine, and it's good. this will, without a doubt, be my final correspondence. have a good life, some of you I'll see again, some of you I won't, it's fine, and that, as they say, was that.

in place of an obituary

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Tue, 02 Aug 2005 21:00:20 GMT

home stretch. been feeling sort of numb lately. consider this the end of correspondence. I mean it this time.

p.s.: Dear Summer,

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Wed, 20 Jul 2005 14:36:23 GMT

please end.

fuck em (2)

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Wed, 20 Jul 2005 14:24:46 GMT

hi guys. hope you're all having a wonderful fucking time. working today and tomorrow, then getting my wisdom teeth out.

where we were to begin with

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Sat, 16 Jul 2005 15:06:35 GMT

today I start work for the people who forced my parents into bankruptcy 10 or so years ago, the people who put us in the position we've been in for the past 10 or so years. Life is full of these little ironic statements, you know, and soft if you put your ear to the ground, close your eyes, clang and echo, pitter patter goes your little stupid heart, oh geeze oh geeze, and snap out of it to see the tire about to roll over your stupid little head.

summer

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Thu, 14 Jul 2005 21:17:12 GMT

count it.

tying up loose ends

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Sun, 10 Jul 2005 18:14:34 GMT

show tonight. I am very excited to see some people.

rains for days so you stay inside and lock your door

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Wed, 06 Jul 2005 20:42:17 GMT

what difference does it make?

as it applies to whatever:

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Tue, 05 Jul 2005 06:08:27 GMT

that which does not kill you

often leaves you handicapped.

everything (2):

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Mon, 04 Jul 2005 00:30:03 GMT

oh it's just like so unfair.

the only two people consistently stuck here

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Thu, 30 Jun 2005 16:58:31 GMT

I forget what it was like to be in school, and I miss something or a few things. Glad it's going well. See you next year or never again.

to everyone:

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 15:19:48 GMT

I'm going to go take my last shit as a high school senior.

weak and tired and worried and sick

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Wed, 25 May 2005 00:00:58 GMT

I will no longer put my life on display, because I understand that what there is to show is meaningless and flat and worthless and
because I understand that it was never nearly as big as it thought it was.

"It's like The Last Fucking Supper!"

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Sun, 22 May 2005 17:30:09 GMT

Goodbye, English Muffin
Goodbye, Goodbye!

it seems the times have changed since "meet me in las vegas"

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Sun, 22 May 2005 14:25:53 GMT

it's almost over. I have one detention left to serve and six class days left to serve and in a couple of weeks it'll all be over. I feel so scattered and spread out. Goodbye paychecks. Hello free time. I don't want to time travel.

fit to burst

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Thu, 12 May 2005 23:24:28 GMT

reminisced, thought about whatever else, pipes won't stop leaking downstairs, left work early because it's slow and they don't need me, hugest headache, asked the wrong question, failed a quiz, called him Ed when I meant to say 'Al', knew I'd do it, family's eating dinner in the other room but I'm in here; I say a little less because, for the most part, it's all like that. I think I'm going to shave off my beard tonight.

I act so dumb when we're alone

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Thu, 05 May 2005 18:36:52 GMT

The new Tullycraft record is excellent. Some guy is armed and dangerous and running around my neighborhood. I was too tired to go to school today, work, wake up go to school tomorrow, work, go to sleep, wake up, go to work, go to sleep, etc. I have a lot to do. I feel like my head is full of bricks.

wake up wake up

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Sun, 01 May 2005 16:35:32 GMT

spit and say, "I'll never die!" louder!

this just in:

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Mon, 25 Apr 2005 17:45:45 GMT

tom stikeman is a negative nancy.

july, july!

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Mon, 25 Apr 2005 16:52:17 GMT

I'm working everyday this week at The English Muffin. It's not bad. I have to give most of my paycheck to my mom for my housing deposit for UNH. This sucks, and I don't know a single person who's had to worry about it. I don't know a single person who's had to pay for it. If you are one of these people let me know so I don't have to feel awful about spending all of my vacation to do it.

oh well. at least I have a job.

ALSO:
thank you, capt. asscheeks.

drama kids

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Fri, 22 Apr 2005 01:08:50 GMT

it is time that we all grew up and started pretending that high school never even happened.

also, being back at that stupid shithole for 50 dollars a week sucks so much. I guess it's something, but, john mccarthy, can you save me?

for the life of me, I cannot remember

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Mon, 18 Apr 2005 22:16:37 GMT

I've been really bummed out the past couple of months.
sometimes everything seems resolved to a point
and I feel better, but a couple hours of sitting around
alone always seems to bring it back. something needs
to change, I guess. everything's thawed, but I still feel
snowy and icy and windy and everything. I guess I could
take a walk. Yeah sure, I should probably just take a walk.
also, I have to watch a really long, boring movie tonight.

if you will suck my soul, I will lick your funky emotions

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Sat, 16 Apr 2005 23:07:09 GMT

so I was just thinking:
okay, it's springtime
it's time to start feeling good again
...so for the rest of the year,
if your name isn't Funkadelic,
you aren't on my stereo.

free your mind and your ass will follow.

why can't I calm down?

lastnightoftheearth@hotmail.com — Sat, 16 Apr 2005 17:58:37 GMT

one day karma will crush me.
could be today, could be tomorrow, could be ten years from now,
but one day whatever will come back around
because it's not about how you've been, it's about what you've done.